Today, as I sit in some obscure coffee shop, sipping latte and pounding my laptop, the clear memory of one session comes to mind. It was the day I discovered how much I hated words and how much my therapist loved them. That day, I swore I would never understand her position. Today, it is all I can do to capture the art and power of each word choice, each word use and misuse, and to now lovingly accept and state out loud – I am a writer.
They say there are no coincidences…..and I’m going to stick to that adage. I must admit, my mind has been blown more than once when I look back and discover what was at work in the background world of significance while I thought I was in the midst of insignificance. My therapist was a Hakomi practitioner - which at the start was insignificant to me, yet much later became quite significant.
Excerpt from Hakomi founder Ron Kurtz: The Hakomi Method
“The word Hakomi may very well come from a Hopi Indian word sometimes spelled hakimi. Its current use is ‘who are you’. Its archaic meaning is ‘how do you stand in relation to these many realms’.
- In Chinese it means --- universal, reverent laughter
- In Hebrew it means --- this is my place, existence, becoming”
As I read these descriptions, I knew I had found something of deep importance to me. Ron Kurtz described his first opportunity to bump up against the space and place of Hakomi:
“An old friend in Albany N.Y. was the staff psychologist at Albany
Medical College. This man, who was a great lover of God, one of the
true faith, a lover of Meher Baba, said to me ‘Why don’t you come up to the hospital and be a guest therapist’.”
This description stopped me cold. Not only does hardly anyone know who Meher Baba is...but coincidently, yet un-coincidently Meher Baba is also my spiritual teacher and master. This literally shook me and woke me up - inside and out.
Sometimes, we choose to “do the work” as things in life begin to knock on our door of unconsciousness, begging to be let in, let out and let open to the waking world of consciousness. As I looked for a therapist of my own, I was drawn to a woman who advertised that she loved humor and her calling card used the words “consciousness and the body”. I appreciate what can seem “outside the box” and felt this type of person might understand what it feels like to lose one’s inner and outer sense of Self --- (capital “S”).
Needless to say there were many sessions filled with frustration, anger and fear. One day it all came to a head when I was unable to find ANY word(s) to describe my inner world slamming up against my outer world --- I yelled out “I HATE WORDS”. Oddly enough my therapist smiled and went into talking about how much she LOVED words. She was giddily gleeful while describing a word game she enjoys playing:
“You hold something in your hand– look at it for a moment, take a breath and see what free flowing words come trickling off the tongue to describe the object”. I’d just about had it that day and gladly sensed the session on its way to being over so I could exit stage left leaving this seemingly mindless misery. My only response to her invitation was
“I think that part of me is gone”.
Once again, she smiled and gently whispered in my ear “the good news is --- they say, this spark in all of us --- can never be destroyed. It may hide, but it is absolutely able to be found”. I remember looking out at her from inner eyes that interestingly enough could still recognize that she was probably right.
When I got home, I decided to give her game a try. The first thing I put in my hand was the hair brush I used everyday – but never truly took time to “See”. I squeezed it, took a breath and out came the words:
“An Arlington of match-stick soldiers”:
Everything stopped. My inner mind stood face-to-face with my outer self; mirrored, reflective and clear.The stillness was Calgon soft with calm. The recognition of that which cannot be destroyed, that which lives lovingly and patiently, smiled a buddhic smile at itself. It had been knowingly waiting for this exact timeless, wordless yet word-filled moment.
I am thankful for the word and world of Hakomi. I am thankful for the work we did - therapist and I. I am thankful for the comfort that comes from the meeting of minds of my inner and outer worlds – united by the choice of words I make moment to moment and the people I meet minute to minute. It is a joy to have woken up to the gift that undyingly lives inside each of us, inviting us all to come play a mystical game of Hide –and- Seek, as it beckons us all to “all ye, all ye in come --- FREE!”
”True love is no game of the faint hearted and weak.
It is born of strength and understanding”
- Meher Baba
